This one was tough for me. For the longest time I think I was misguided as to what I was called by God to do. Instead of really listening, I pushed what I 'thought' I wanted...or what the world told me I wanted.
I thought I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Focusing my time and energy on my child(ren). But that really isn't my only job. Yes, that is certainly part of my calling. But God has bigger plans for me than that.
"A person may think up plans. But the Lord decides what he will do." Proverbs 16:9If you are new to my blog you don't know I have infertility. Despite divine intervention, I will never conceive or carry biological children. During my struggle with infertility, decision to adopt, and long wait for a match I wrote my feelings and the process here on my blog.
To date, my most influential and widely read post was written the day my sister told me she was pregnant. I had replies from people I had never heard of. People were copying the text of my message and sending it to their family and friends to try to explain how it feels to struggle with infertility and hear someone close to you has (seemingly) effortlessly conceived and concealed the entire process. I have talked to many people who have struggled with infertility and many more who are seeking adoption to build their families. In many ways I feel that God is going to use this part of my life so I can help other people in this same trench. However, now is not that time. I feel like he is going to use me for that later. I don't know how and I am not sure when, but I think that part of my story is still developing.
I will continue to help people as they come along and I love talking about infertility and adoption. But I also know God will use this later.
"There is a right time for everything. Everything on earth has its special season." Ecclesiastes 3:1Right now I believe God wants me to be in a kindergarten classroom. I joke that I got the grade kindergarten ...and infertility...and chose adoption...because I made the mistake of asking God to teach me patience. Ha! Well I certainly have an abundance of patience now!!!
Be very careful what you pray for!
As I was reading to Wyatt tonight I came across this verse:
"Remember this: The person who plants a little will have a small harvest. But the person who plants a lot will have a big harvest." 2 Corinthians 9:6This really hits on my current calling. I want to impact little lives. I want to teach children to live lives like Jesus. By teaching in a public school I am able to reach people who might not otherwise have the opportunity to hear about God, other than the casual cultural references to things such as the santa-ized version of Christmas and the easter-bunny version of Easter. I can encourage my students to attend Good News Club. I am actually given a lot more freedom to talk about God and Jesus than many people think I am, given I teach in a public school.
As long as I don't put down any other religion, or tell students what they have to believe, I am allowed to share the good news of Jesus. Of course I also have to share about other religions, but so far I haven't had any children interested in them. They have questions, and I feel that I am really good at answering in a non-judgmental, purely factual way. Instead I have students bringing in their Bibles to read with their friends.
What is interesting to me is when I was in college I didn't even start my major in education. I started in Interior Design. I was talking about how impersonal and lonely the job was proving to be and my dad pointed out a picture of me with a family friend. He mentioned how when I was with children my eyes just lit up. It was very clear to him all along that I needed to be doing something with children. :o)
This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!