Great Posts

I am a member of The Bump's Adoption Message Board. I love it there. Everyone is so nice and supportive since most of them have been through infertility and have experienced the same things.
Someone posted a great message and it just so summed up what I feel sometimes that I decided to just re-post bits and pieces here.

sillygirlio started it all:
"DH and I were ttc for four years and recently went on a "break" that could prove to be the end of the TTC road for us.  Adoption may be in our future, but we're not sure... I need some time to heal, and I still have dreams of a bio child.
Anyway, I'm suffering from a tremendous sense of loss and I'm struggling with what to do with these feelings.  I have tried to reach out to a few friends IRL (almost everyone knows about our IF) to tell them about how I'm mourning our "baby" which would be 3 now if we'd conceived it when we started ttc (like most normal couple do) and they've pretty much all come back with something about how I have nothing to mourn because I was never pregnant to begin with, and I need to get over it.
Now I'm struggling with this because my friend (who has had 4 easily achieved pregs and three lovely children... one PG eneded in a loss) is acting as though I've never lost anything and that SHE'S the one who has the market cornered on pain because of her miscarraige.
It's to the point where I almost wish I had had a loss (this is the part that is flamable.  I don't actually wish to have a miscarraige... and I know this is a horrible thing to say, and I'm sorry to all the women reading this who have had to suffer through that... but it's the way I feel right now) so that someone would take my pain seriously!  When my friend had her loss people sent flowers and cards and mourned with her... but I feel like I'm mourning alone."

The lady below pretty much just sucked the words right from my head! This is how I feel.

mcmann05: "Some days I see multiple pg women and it all comes flooding back that it will never be me! My difference between most women grieving this loss is that I grieve the actual pregnancy feelings and not the biological child, if that makes sense. I don't "need" to have a biological child but I feel like I'm being cheated out of some "normal" life expectancies of feeling my child kick me, having my belly grown, having DH feel the kicks, labor, maternity pictures, etc etc etc!"