Friday, July 2, 2010

And so it begins....

Shortly after my posting extravaganza yesterday I received a phone call. It was from an adoption agency.
I had posted on facebook that I was done with trying to have a biological child and asked if anyone had any information about domestic adoption. One of my friends sent me a link to the adoption agency that she is going to be using in a few months. I checked out the site, it looked good, and I clicked on the little link to receive more information in the mail.
I assumed they would send me a pamphlet.
They called. The lady began by telling me more about their company:
They placed over 300 children last year.
Their average wait time is 2.5 months. (whoa)
     I interrupted her to ask what that meant. Does the wait time begin now? Or after paperwork is completed?   
     Or after the home-study is done? I think it means after paper work is done, before home-study. She said
     they place prospective parents on the website before the home-study is done and they just mark it with
     "home-study pending."
They do extensive medical background checks on all potential birth mothers.

Then she started asking me questions about Sparky and I. How long have we been married? How long have we been together? How tall is he? How old? What does he weigh? How old am I? How tall am I? What do I weigh? Why do we want to adopt? Do we have a preference on gender? Do we have a racial preference?

Most of the questions were easy, because I am ridiculous and plan way to much. Of course I have already thought of all of this stuff. I don't care about gender, I can't plan that anyway. I told her I was undecided on race. I think I have been so bombarded by political correctness that I didn't want to sound racist and say I want a Caucasian baby. I have now made up my mind and will tell them that I want a Caucasian child because, although I am fine with everyone knowing we adopted, I don't want everyone that walks past us in the mall to stamp "adopted" on my child's head.
I know Sparky and I won't be able to look for our own physical traits in our child, but I want some sort of resemblance, even if it is just skin color. Call me shallow, I don't care.
Actually, I do care. If you have something negative to say about my choice... go somewhere else. I don't need negative people in my life.

She then told me we needed to schedule a phone interview/adopting 101. We have a phone conference set up for Wednesday, July 10th at 3:00. Don't call me then.
She reiterated that it is VERY important for us to keep this appointment and if something interferes, we need to call and reschedule because failure to make this appointment will count against us in the adoption process.
She told me that a packet will be arriving via UPS and I needed to look at the questionnaire, answer all of the questions, because it would prepare us for the phone interview. It will also help us determine if we have any questions for the other lady.

I went outside and told Sparky all of this information. He had to put his eyes back into his head and pick his jaw up off the floor. We all know he does not move quickly on major decisions. He kinda sputtered a little bit but is on board. I have been asking him relentlessly if this is all okay with him for about two weeks, and he assured me he is good with adoption. He just wasn't prepared for it all to go so quickly. Neither was I!

Then he admitted to me that he was concerned about me having a baby myself anyway.
Oh. Well, that would have been nice to know about six months ago before I started all this fertility crap. But, whatever.
He is concerned because I am on anti-depressants. The anti-depressant bottle very clearly says "do not take while pregnant."  I looked into it further and it says, do not take during the third trimester. He doesn't think it would be good for me to be off of them for a trimester, or for the fetus to be exposed to them at all. He is probably right. Who knows what side-effects they could have on a fetus. And we know I would need to be locked in a padded room if I didn't have my anti-depressants and was hormonal from the pregnancy. So this is just another reason why adoption is so much better for us!

So here comes the hard part. We do not make a lot of money since we are both teachers. Adoption is very expensive. On top of that, it is recommended that we have a nursery set up before prospective birth mothers look at us because one reason birth mothers are looking to place their child for adoption is to be able to give their child a better life than they could provide. An empty room is not appealing. A complete nursery ready for the baby we don't even have, to show the birth mother that we can provide more, is much more desirable.So I need to put together a nursery, for little money, because we need to save to pay for the adoption fees. (Anyone want to help out with this?!) :O)

The lady from the agency was also excited that we are both teachers. A lot of birth mothers want their child to have a stay-at-home mom because it is either something they wanted for themselves or wish they could provide for their child. Since we are teachers, we would BOTH be able to spend all summer with our child, they know we love kids, our background check is clear, and would put education first.

Anyway, I am very excited and looking forward to getting the packet in the mail.

1 comment:

Amber said...

Thanks for the nice comment on my blog post. While everything can be so intimidating in the beginning, especially for the husbands, it will go ok. I know when we first started it was like we had to have everything done so quickly but in reality it really wasn't that bad. Even with a smaller income (we are by no means wealthy individuals), adoption is affordable. Especially when you think of the end reward.