Friday, July 23, 2010

I don't know...

I don't know if I can wait. Logically, waiting another year before signing with an agency makes perfect sense. We would be able to save money and not get as big of a loan. But my heart is pulling me so strongly it feels like it will burst out of my chest. I can't wait another year. I have been waiting forever. I waited to find someone good enough to marry. He made me wait a year while engaged before we got married. I waited 6 months before telling my Dr. something more than endometriosis was wrong with me. I am tired of waiting.
I know my wait pales in comparison to some other people's waits, but it is still horrible. Right now I don't really care if I get into debt and have a loan to pay for the rest of my life if I could have a baby. I don't know what to do. Waiting sucks.

1 comment:

adrianne + will said...

Totally feel you here. We're waiting to file until December of this year. We decided this last November. We wanted to pay off husband's car and save as much money as we could. This April dear husband had to have brain surgery, and all of our savings went to his hospital bills. So - we've started saving again. We're filing the papers in December no matter how much money we have. We've been trying to build our family since 2004, and I just cannot wait one moment longer!